PLANET EARTH—Stunning investors everywhere, Lee Soo-Man proudly announced at SM Entertainment’s latest quarterly earnings that half the world population had indeed become members of NCT.
“We struggled to scale NCT as a worldwide group for global parasocial relationships; but when we realized that we could just make anyone a member of the complicated entangling web of the group, we did.” The founder and record producer further commented: “we considered naming the group, NCT 3,000,000,000, and then we remembered that we had NCT U, so why not NCT ME? You. Me. We are all NCT. NCT is set to the become the world’s dominant lifeform. By the time those who have the power to do anything it’ll be too late. Too late for you all.”
Lee Soo Man smiled for cameras as he aggressively massaged Mark’s shoulders, whispering in his ear to maintain the group’s fan pages and to participate in online fandom wars.
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